This is the first time in ten years I will not be teaching a class at EMU. I have a consulting position in the University Writing Center and I’m a volunteer writing consultant for YpsiWrites at the Whittaker library. I only need to be on campus two days a week so that leaves me plenty of time to do some writing and some drawing! It’s strange to not be revising my syllabus, project assignments, and reading schedules. BUT also, quit invigorating to be writing for me, myself, my own interests.

I’ve started revising my children’s book that started my teaching career over twenty years ago. That’s correct, I wrote a little story for my niece and nephew in 1990 for Easter. That story turned into a chapter book I finished during an independent study with a children’s literature professor at Eastern Michigan University. I submitted that story to about 15 different publishers. Rejection letters are hard to read. Through suggestions from my creative writing professor and my independent study professor, I pursued my master’s degree in Children’s Literature than a master’s degree in Written Communication with an emphasis in the Teaching of Writing.

So, here I am at my laptop, writing on my blog about writing. I pondered what to do with this spare time and many ideas have been sent out to the universe. Should I try to find another teaching position, no. Should I get a part-time job to fill in the money gap, still thinking about that. Should I finish writing the several projects I’ve started over the past ten plus years and submit them for publication, yes. Should I do more drawing that I know I can do after taking a class last winter and passing with flying colors, yes. However, writing and drawing and sending it out for possible acceptance is absolutely terrifying! Yes, the fear of success is real, the fear of rejection is real, the fear of not being good enough is very real. I just googled “fear of success” and it seems to be a female issue that society has built into us, whereas men have “fear of failure’ issues. These are my thoughts about what to do in 2020.

I’ve also revisited my book I started five years ago. A memoir of sorts that tells the story of my transformation from insecure young female to more confident adult woman. This project includes some of my poetry I’ve written about my childhood and my life. I need to be brave, confident, and persistent to survive the coming winter insecurities. That’s it. I also have to draw and not be afraid. One of the pieces I drew last winter, is a triptych of my Petosky stone. I need to frame it so that I can submit it for exhibition. I have not submitted any art in the last twenty years.

I must write every day!

I must draw every day!

As I stare at the clementine peel, laying next to my laptop, it reminds me of the series of photographs and drawings I have done over the last five years on this subject. Why does this particular item peek my creativity so much? It’s just an ordinary orange clementine peel. I don’t know. However, last winter I turned this item into a fictional beast in one of my fantasy drawings. Maybe there’s a story there as well.

So, I begin another trip around the sun, whatever the outcome only time will tell . . .